Hi Baby,

You actually got weepy today when I kissed you good-bye in Nana’s car.¬† You were excited to go, but the lip began quivering and I told you to take off your sunglasses and you needed a snuggle. Such a sad face driving away. Not a smile. Not even when I mooned you.

It’s our 12th anniversary this sunday and we’re going to New York to celebrate it.

And I’ve really been looking forward to going.

But today wasn’t a good day was it? Absolutely no snuggle time. Not one second.

I’m so sorry about that.




Nothing finishes a day perfectly like checking in on you while you’re sleeping.

You never sleep properly.

Your body is always contorted and twisted and it usually makes me and your dad laugh out loud. I always  move you over and tuck you in again.

I always check your arms to make sure you’re warm enough. I check your forehead to make sure you don’t have a temperature. And if you aren’t snoring, I poke you until you move to make sure you’re alive.

And tonight for some reason, I was extra-thankful. Grateful. I thanked the Lord that you went to bed every single night, knowing that you are loved. There are no worries on your forehead, no concerns.

You don’t stay up all night wondering if you’ll make your mom mad, or if she’s forgiven you yet. You don’t worry about having to see your cousins tomorrow and how mean they’re going to be. You don’t have to go to sleep afraid.

You can snuggle right into your clean snuggly sheets and know that you are loved and that you are wanted.

I pray you always always always have that knowledge and feelings, even when we are no longer around.

Because God is crazy about you. And you are loved and you are wanted and you are protected.

I am so grateful that you don’t have the fears I did.

love you drummerboy