December 12, 2012 11:44

Dear Jackson,

A hero is someone we look up to. Someone who always takes the high road, does the right thing, is compassionate and gives freely of himself. Someone who sucks it up.

Jackson. You are my  hero.

On Monday you had a horrible appointment at CHEO. The doctor wanted to do a ‘ciliary biopsy’ because we thought you might have issues with your tonsils or adenoids. So we went to CHEO and prepped you best we could. Explained what she would do. We told you it would hurt, like a sharp pinch, but then it would be done.

You were ready.

We had to wait a good two hours to see her (very annoying) and I had a meltdown in the bathroom. I left to find it because I was so upset, so angry at what she was going to do to you. See, she had to shove a sharp wire with sharp metal bristles up your nose and scrape it. And I didn’t like that. When she came, I had to sit behind your chair, letting dad sit beside you. I had seen the wire and it was terrifying. She promised it wouldn’t hurt and that made me so mad because she was lying. I had to look up my iphone, look at facebook so I couldn’t pay attention to what was going on because I was going to faint.  And all you said, the entire time, in a small but steady voice was, ‘are we done now?’ Jackson. The wire went two inches up your nose.

And my heart broke.

I’m sorry you had that done. I would have gladly taken your place a thousand times. And you were so tough. As soon as she finished, I handed you your sleepytoy and you held it. We stopped at Booster Juice on the way home and that night you were so… grumpy. You told me that you were crying because Callum had mentionned that sometimes cars explode and that you thought of all your sleepytoys burning a car fire. I was so mad at that kid and I held your hand and explained that you had ‘10,000 angels watching over you’ and no harm would come to you or to them. And then you calmed down.

The doctor is checking for PDC. And if you have it, it means you will have a low immune system forever. And for some reason you’ll be infertile. I have no idea why that even relates. But then I think about you not having children, and my heart breaks. But our God is an Awesome God and He will provide. He is bigger than us and bigger than any disease.

Yesterday was your school’s bake sale. We gave you 2$. I asked you to stay away from chocolate because of the slave trade. You bought three candy canes. You offered one to Sydney because she forgot her money, but then she found it. So you gave it to Logan because he forgot his money. You ate one. And you brought home the third for dad.

Who does that?

A kid with character. A kid with compassion.

A hero.

Like you.

Love you babes.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: