a Full Snow Day

We woke up to a foot of snow already. You were outside by 10. The plow came by and made a huge snow mountain. You played for an hour and I called you in. You were soaking wet, your cheeks pink, your eyes sparkling. You pulled off your hat and your blonde curls were tight against your neck.

You went back out two more times. I made you take a walk with me tonight.

At snacktime, before bed, I told you that I started praying for your wife. You showed surprise. I explained that we’ve always been praying for your wife. That she would love Jesus. That she would be your best friend. That she would be healthy, a kind heart, full of compassion…

that she would be close to us, as well.

That means a lot to me.

It occurs to me again tonight that time goes by so so quickly. I was coming upstairs and I realized that you aren’t six. You’re eight. Eight. I promised myself I wouldn’t get weepy.

But today. I haven’t seen my parents in two years. Or my brother…

It made me wonder how I am able to shut part of my heart down. Or is it a wall? Or is God protecting me?

I don’t know.

When friends don’t call or make half-hearted attempts to care, I can shut my heart off.

Is that supposed to be a good thing?

Your dad called from the firehall tonight and he was so sad, so disappointed. He heard stories about the Christmas party that his platoon went to. He was sad because they went to strip clubs after. It made him more sad that the men he respected so much, went.  His heart hurts.

The snow  has fallen over 40″.

It’s awesome.

I love you I love you I love you.


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