May and the Farm

You are such a character. You make me laugh, all the time with your silliness and your puns. You’re very clever, did you know that?

You are one heck of a hard worker.  Your Dad and I always worried if you’d be lazy or if you’d be a good worker, and so far, we are blown away by your efforts and your good humour about it all.

You help your dad on tree jobs, being the ‘bush-dragging beast’. You mow the lawn without complaint, listening to Adventures in Odyssey non-stop.  You get on these crazy organizing binges where you decide to vacuum or reorganize the guest room so we can actually get inside.

Wow.

You are so thoughtful and caring and kind. Did you know that?

 

I love your little heart.

 

love, Bad Mommy.

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Sleeping

Nothing finishes a day perfectly like checking in on you while you’re sleeping.

You never sleep properly.

Your body is always contorted and twisted and it usually makes me and your dad laugh out loud. I always  move you over and tuck you in again.

I always check your arms to make sure you’re warm enough. I check your forehead to make sure you don’t have a temperature. And if you aren’t snoring, I poke you until you move to make sure you’re alive.

And tonight for some reason, I was extra-thankful. Grateful. I thanked the Lord that you went to bed every single night, knowing that you are loved. There are no worries on your forehead, no concerns.

You don’t stay up all night wondering if you’ll make your mom mad, or if she’s forgiven you yet. You don’t worry about having to see your cousins tomorrow and how mean they’re going to be. You don’t have to go to sleep afraid.

You can snuggle right into your clean snuggly sheets and know that you are loved and that you are wanted.

I pray you always always always have that knowledge and feelings, even when we are no longer around.

Because God is crazy about you. And you are loved and you are wanted and you are protected.

I am so grateful that you don’t have the fears I did.

love you drummerboy

mom

Worrying

Dear Jack,

You worry too much. Do you know that? I hate that you are seven and you worry. You worry about whether you are doing the right thing or thinking the right thing. Always trying to see what is right and wrong.  It stresses me because you are seven.  I know you have a sensitive heart. I know you have a compassionate heart. I know it is easy for you to hurt.

Do you know that whenever we watch Bugs Bunny, there is a certain cartoon that always makes you cry. The one with the dog who finds a kitten and brings her home. Remember? And even though we see that nothing happens to the kitten, that she doesn’t get made into kitten cookies, whenever we see the dog’s big red sad eyes, we both cry.   And whenever we watch ‘Tangled’, when they show the King and Queen about to set out their lanterns on their missing daughter’s birthday, whenever they show the king’s sad face, we cry. And last night when we watched Phineas and Ferb, when Major M talked about having to go away to school and the voices told him ‘I’m not your daddy’, you cried. So much compassion in your little heart.

I wish… I don’t wish I could toughen you up, but I wish … I wish you knew what I did. I wish you knew not to take things so seriously. That sometimes it’s ok to make mistakes. Are we too hard on you? Whenever you cry, I look inside myself to see what I have done to push that, to invoke that feeling.

But oh, how I love your heart.

All of your sleepytoys get talked to. You tell them about Jesus. You tell me with your face shining that they asked Jesus into their hearts. And every single one of your sleepytoys is married. I love that. They go on dates and they go dancing. And then you beat them up.

I pray your heart would stay compassionate for those suffering. I pray that God would give you the wisdom that you need to be awesome. I pray for your safety. I know the world will definitely break your heart. And I know that I will hurt your heart, and I know Dad will. Even though we don’t mean to or want to. I pray God will give you the grace and strength to forgive the world, and to forgive us. God knows how many mistakes I have made and will continue to make. I pray God would keep me humble so that I know when I am wrong. And when you are right.

I admire your heart. And I admire your innocence. I’m going to keep you innocent for as long as I can. That’s my job.

love you, my little chicken…

mom

January 12, 2012

Jack,

When I was in University, I was a volunteer at the Gender Issues Center. I learned a lot about how women should be treated. I know how women should be treated, but in your heart, you think it’s ok when men treat you badly. You think it’s ok when women treat you badly. You become so used to being treated a certain way, that when someone doesn’t treat you badly, you wonder if they really like you. One thing that stood out the most, that I think every man should do:

When you are walking down the street and a woman, whatever age she is, young or old, is coming towards you, and she is walking alone, purposefully cross the street and walk on the other side. Then you will make her nervousness go away.

And if you are ever walking with a woman, always walk on the outside. Unless there are scary people/crowds/groups of people, then move her to the outside.

love,

mom

ps: you have three very loose teeth. And they look funny in your mouth because of the huge gaps. You’re still adorable.